


follow that bird

by wildhoneypot



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, More tags coming, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Road Trip, canon divergence au choose ur own adventure good ending whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildhoneypot/pseuds/wildhoneypot
Summary: after all the drama surrounding The Now Now, 2D wants a real break. no whale fat, no manic journaling at 3am, no condescending interviews. 1/3 ain't bad.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	1. leave the house

2D forced his eyes open. The dark was swirling around him, solidifying itself into recognizable shapes. He looked back and forth, squinted at his watch, made out a 1 and a 3. He rolled onto his back and stretched with his toes pointed. Point. Flex. Point. Flex. Roll. Started looking for cracks in the ceiling. Forgetting this is a nice Cali spot and not his room in the Spirit House. That place was as good as gone. They trashed it, that’s what they do, real rock n’ rollers. They trash everything. 

Point. Flex. Point. Flex.

Stalling.

He looked over to Russel, sighing. Thought to himself yet again about how much he looks like a sleeping bear. He reached out to stroke his cheek but stopped himself. 

It was past time.

He creeped from his spot and felt around the room for his jacket. Snuck sideways down the stairs, knowing that was in vain, everyone in the house slept so heavily. Either blacked out or very good actors, he didn’t know for sure and didn’t care. He kept “creeping” through the place, looking at Noodle on the couch. Eyes closed. Guard down. Thumb unabashedly in her mouth. Some reality show they would’ve mocked back in the day was the only light in the room. 

2D kept his eyes on her and half-laughed through his nose. Noodle’s always looked the polar opposite of the “badass” persona she’s had to keep up with when she slept. She would’ve looked pitiful if he didn’t know her. Pathetic, if he had the cojones to say so. But he knew he couldn’t say that, not even in his head. He kept looking over until he hit the wall. He huffed at himself and rubbed his nose. He thought it would hurt more than it did. Okay, it was time to _go_ go. 

His reflection startled him in the mirror and he wondered why they had that thing by the back door. He let his chest deflate when he recognized himself. Those stupid “black” eyeballs that looked more purple to him. The same ones he’s seen everyone try too hard to describe. The ones that he accepted would never drain. The ones that became his defining feature. Hollowed out, splotchy, once baby-face. A long, old tire mark of a scar going through his eyebrow and down one side. The other side about to finish the purple bruising stage for the "eighty millionth" time, if he was correct. He pushed what was damn near a loc from his forehead, and the mirror started to squint at him. 

“Stupid hoe.” he mumbled at his reflection, and spat in it while he inched the door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> working title, the other title was "Thelma and Louise but Tootie is Thelma and Ace is Louise". started this idea w/ a friend back when phase 5 was still active and we all thought there was gonna be a big story. thought it would be worth a shot to pick it back up while things are still dormant.
> 
> chapter title : leave the house - porches


	2. puppy to your side

_“I don’t know, I... just wanted to go get food. And she started going off about how I work for a demon?” Ace pinched the bridge of his nose, starting to realize why 2d pinched his own so often. “I_ **_think_ ** _???”_

 _“And then she just left?!” 2D said. He didn’t mean to raise his voice. “..sorry.”_ _  
__  
__“The last I saw Noodle, she was walking out the door with a fucking sword on her back.”_

 _It must've been serious if Ace cussed. But this was just a Thursday for 2D.  
_ _  
__“Ugh, there she goes. Look, I had_ **_nothing_ ** _to do with that.” he dragged out, putting his back on the wall. “I didn’t even know about El.. whatever her name is.. until like, what, 4 days ago. But, you’ve noticed how we can’t tell her shit- ugh, anything. So I guess we just... let her do that, I suppose.” He sunk down to the ground, now pinching his nose._ _  
__“I’m not suffocating under anyone’s thumb for five minutes, and she.. when the hell did she start caring about me?” he tossed his glasses off._

_“You don’t mean that.” Did he?_

_“I guess?!” he threw his hands up in defeat and let them slam on the ground._

_Ace was hoping that he could avoid their drama. It was cool at first, of course it was. Making music with his favorite teenhood group, touring with his teenhood crush. Looking in on their lives, more than a magazine could ever show him. Unreal. But, it wore off. Everything seemed to be on the rocks since the album’s release. From what he’s been willing to notice, at least. He figured something had to be building up, he’s read each of their interviews since 2003. The cool period was a front, he knew that. Everyone yelling in different languages, disappearing for too little or too long, revealing way more than he needed to know. He felt like he was eavesdropping, it all became too much. It was worse on tour, they were laughing one minute and boxing the next. He just tried his best to stay out of the way. It got to the point where he had to hang with them one at a time. And now there's whatever Noodle was talking about._ _  
__  
__2D put his head down so that his hair hid his face. Ace knew what was coming and wasn’t ready at all._ _  
__  
__“Hey.. hey Twoey?” Ace crouched down to his level. He picked up the glasses from the floor and left his hand hanging. Unsure if he should try to hand them back._ _  
__  
__A sniff came from 2D._ _  
__  
__Fuck._ _  
__  
__“Twoey-“_ _  
__  
__“WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”_

 _Woah._ _  
__  
__“Oh-kay!! Uh..! Wait what?!”_

_…_

...

2D walked up the street, knowing he was going the right way but still doubting himself. It was still a bit warm for a jacket, his hands were in his pockets anyway. He slowed his pace a little bit, hoping his pulse would take notes. Surprisingly, he wasn’t feeling much panic despite his heartbeat. It trying to beat out of this chest was just protocol at this point, more annoying than a warning. 

He just felt done. 

Done. Like he checked off everything from a grocery list. He was so fucking tired. Everything was “normal”, again, and he was expected to accept that. Their cult leader of a band leader was back in black. And 2D was back in “his place”. 

Bullshit.

He agreed, he should’ve acted better the past few months. Then he questioned what “better” meant with them. It felt like he only gave a fraction of what everyone else dishes out. But, he couldn’t finish a thought for himself without people thinking a demon’s taking over. He knew what “better” meant; like a puppy. Sedated, obedient, house-trained. Dumb enough for them to joke about eating dog food and it being believable. Loyal enough for everyone to dump their secrets onto as a free therapy session because he’ll just forget. Jump to their side no matter what happens, and put away when they get bored with him. It’s gotten old. 

That just proved his point, right? Fucking off for a while is good, they’ve all had to do it before. He thought they’d all be able to take a hint the second time. They don’t mesh. Every time they get back together, it’s cute for a while. There’s a few group pictures, some “on the last episode of Gorillaz”-type interview, oversharing of ideas that never come to fruition, reminiscing about one or two decent times from 2 decades ago, lovey dovey happy family. Until everything goes back to “normal”. They’re at each other’s throats, they don’t want to talk, they swallow each other’s words, and he’s back to being the family pet. Then someone almost dies, and they split. Rinse and repeat.

He slowed his steps even more, almost a kind of funeral bounce pace. He wanted a cigarette but didn’t feel like moving his hands. The atmosphere felt weird, like nothing was happening. Nighttime always felt like this for him. Things always swirled around and the air was purple. He contemplated turning around and getting back in bed. That’s the last thing he wanted to do, he wondered why he kept considering it. 

That thought ran away from whipping his head around to an engine turning a little too close to him. _  
  
_

_  
_…

_..._

_“I’m just gonna split after the festival, I don’t know if I told you.”_

_“I guessed as much, no one’s letting you do anything.” 2D didn’t look up from whatever he was reading._

_“Yeah..” Ace looked to the side, hating that he was right. “I mean, you.. Yeah. I don’t even know if I wanna go to the fest.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Pshh, listen I had fun. It’s not like this was permanent, we did cool stuff."_

_“Mm.. what’s the plan? You got your checks, right?”_

_“I dunno. I think I’ll visit my sister.”_

_2D looked up, almost smiling._ _  
__  
__“You have a sister?”_

 _Ace looked surprised at the genuine intrigue on 2D’s face._ _  
__  
__“Y-yeah.”_ _  
__  
__“That’s so nice.”_

_“Yeah, she’s alright.”_

_They just sat there, there was nothing else to say. 2D put his head down and Ace turned his to look at nothing. He wasn’t sure if he should’ve left the room. It wasn’t like there was anything else to do, Russel and Noodle didn’t have much to say to his announcement, either. ‘I get it’, ‘bye’. He did hand it to 2D, he was always willing to make more conversation with him than the other two._

_“Hey..”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“....hey.”_

_“.....Yes?”_

_“Can I come visit with you?”_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yea this takes place whenever cactus-cock came back (what was it like september?) 2018.
> 
> erase you - esg


	3. this is what u want, this is what u get

_“You seen Ace?”_   
  
_“I don’t know. Noodle probably took him out back and shot him.” 2D was in his bed, doing nothing. A long night of pacing takes a lot out of a person. There wasn’t shit else to do. He didn’t want to look at anyone._

_“Dee, that’s n-“_

_“Kidding!” he cut Russel in a fake happy tone. He didn’t want to start anything else. He was tired of hearing lectures about his ‘attitude’. “I think he left already. Like, left left.” Russel heard the acid under his voice and chose to ignore it anyway._

_“Damn, just like that? You sure?”_

_“All his stuff’s gone. I know it isn’t much but it’s gone. So is he.”_

_“I knew he was leaving but I didn’t think he’d just run in the night like that.”_

_2D shrugged. He had something to say but it wasn’t worth it._

_…_

…

Ace was impressed at how much 2D looked like a deer right now. Especially, now that he turned the lights on. His eyes were huge, and he looked tense as hell. 

“Did I scare ya?” he chuckled

2D’s eyes shifted up and down. Ace never paid attention to how they moved before. He wasn’t sure if it was cool or scary or both. When 2D hit his stance, he could’ve sworn they pinned like a bird’s eyes or a camera shutter. Was he shaking? 

“Twoey, you good?” Ace stuck his head out the window.

“Yeah..”

He cut the engine off and watched 2D’s shoulders lower and his eyes focus, almost like he was snapping out of a trance. 

“Your ride!” 2D stepped into the alleyway where the van.. or maybe this type was called a bus.. was parked.

“She’s my old lady.”

“I love her, she looks like a mango.” he slurred out the word 'looooooove' as he dragged his finger along where the paint job fades from green to orange. He made his way around the van-or-maybe-bus to take it all in. He looked at all the stickers on the back, of course Ace stickered his hippie-bus. He listed what he could make out in the dark. Bettie Page, that Misfits logo, “I break for-” but the last word was scratched out, a rainbow. He rolled his eyes at the wicker man sticker, not at Ace but out of habit, it reminded him of someone. 

“She’s a vango.” 2D smiled, walking up to the driver’s side window.

“Nice.”

2D made his way to the passenger door and hopped in. He sat back in the seat as much as he could. Ace’s eyes went wide when he got a real look at his face. 2D looked behind himself, he pretended to think Ace had seen a phantom. He reassured himself 30 times in 5 seconds that he wasn't 'caught', and no one followed him trying to 'catch' him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he turned his head back too slowly for Ace's liking.

“When did that happen?”

“Oh, this old thing?” 2D pointed to the shiner under his right eye, then sat back in his seat again. No real answer.

“You’ve been hiding it?”

2D nodded. He tapped his foot around under his seat, making sure his bag was there.. he gave it to Ace weeks ago, almost forgot about it himself. He pulled his hood over his head and sunk down further. Ace started the van back up, desperately trying to break the silence. 

“Of course you- ugh. I’m sorry, Twoey, when did that-” 

“Hey..”

“-oh.”

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“Chill. It happened, okay? It’s over. This is nothing.”

Ace exhaled through his mouth a little too loud. He didn’t get see 2D’s face not covered up very often. His browbone looked like someone took a razor blade to it. Eyelids swallowing his eyes, and the shiner didn’t help. He looked at all the freckles covering his face like a banana. Dark lips, 'smoker’s lips'. He couldn’t imagine all the time it took concealing everything. He scanned the rest of him. Arms crossed. Pants not long enough to cover the whole of his legs, as usual. Wait..

“Your leg too?!”

“Huh?” 2D looked down to the bandage wrapped around his calf. “No! No, d- don’t worry about it.” He reached for the nob and cranked whatever was playing. Whatever it took to get Ace’s eyes off of him.

 _‘This is what you want, this is what you get, this is what you want, this is what you get.’_ the voice droned. A classic. They let the chant set the mood as they finally started rolling down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter of lists oops
> 
> order of death - public image ltd


	4. pull up, roll up, fuck up

“-Right so we got it, we’re carrying it. Noodle, drunk as a skunk, says ‘wig!’ about 30 times before I just let it fall on my foot.” Ace shrugged at the end of his story.

“She’s so embarrassing sometimes.” 2D half-laughed in reply. “S’like she doesn’t know.” His head’s been turned towards the window the couple of hours they’ve been on the road. His eyes were closed, but he’s been responding the whole time. Slow, two or three word responses, but still. Ace noticed that he was talking at a lower register, too. Talking from his chest, almost like his singing voice. The sun was starting to peek her head from the horizon. They both welcomed her.

“I’m sorry, Ace. It’s been a lot, innit?”

“Aw you’re okay..”

Ace had no idea what to talk about outside the other three. Awkward turtle. They didn’t _talk_ talk very much for the few months they’ve been sharing space. At least not by themselves, not about anything important. Music mostly, duh. Nostalgia, stupid things from the past. A couple of too-personal stories slipped, then they wiped them from their minds the morning after. He and 2D would chat and joke around, at least there was that. But he felt like there was a time and a place. He was afraid he was going to pry, even though he felt like some of his questions needed answers. 

He looked back to the road, nothing he hadn't seen before. 

“It has though.” 2D continued. “Like, I get why you didn’t wanna finish out the shows with us. I’m sorry we were fighting non stop. And I’m sorry I hit you in surprise that one time..” he was almost slurring his words. “And I’m sorry Noodle pushed you down the stairs for instagram. And that Katsu threw up in your shoes. And I’m sorry you walked in on me and Russ making out. And-”

“No, I mean it, y-you’re okay.” Ace tilted his head down because it felt hot. 

“You didn’t miss much, really.”

“Yeah?”

“Well.. Noodle’s moved to saying ‘wig _less_ ’.”

Ace shot air through his nose and smirked at that.

“Uhh, blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch, fight fight fight. Festival, black eye, interview in bad outfits.” 2D started counting the events on his fingers. “Bender, sleeping for a week. ‘Congratulating the fans’ for breaking cactus-cock out or something. Dunno. Noodle dyed her hair back. Russ uhh.” he sucked his teeth instead of finishing that bullet point. “Mh.. pushing watches? Not my idea..” his sentence seemed to come to a pause. “Uh, and now I’m in your vango. That’s it.” 

“Same thing different day, huh?” 

“Mhmm.”

Ace couldn’t believe how he just listed ‘black eye’ and moved on. He really wanted to know what happened.

“What’s on your mind?” he wondered if he could coax it out of him.

“Pain.” 

Uhh.

2D furrowed his brows and looked at Ace, his eyes were dark. “That sounded so dramatic, sorry, I have a headache.. is what I m-..” He paused again. His eyes went to the lower right for a bit and came back up again. “.. to say.”

Oh, no wonder he wasn’t talking much.

“But yeah, you didn’t miss anything.” he reiterated.

The radio hummed something they knew that they knew but couldn’t remember. Sounded like some “trip-hop” number they would’ve smoked to when they were way younger. 

“Oh wait, Murdoc turned us into dogs for a little bit, that was **stupid**.” 

“What was that last part?”

“guh-”

“Guh-?”

“gukh-“ 2D was holding his mouth, his shoulders were jerking forward a bit. He looked up and held his throat only to go back to his prior position. He was trying to roll the window down, but didn’t know if it was a lever or a knob. Hands back to mouth. Ruh roh.

“urRRGHHHK-!”

“Twoey no- wait I’m a sympathy puker-“

“HNNNG-“

“HURRRRGH-“

**“HNNNNNNNNNGH-“**

**“HUUUUURRRRRRKGH-!”**

They kept retching for what felt like years until Ace tokyo drift-ed into the nearest motel parking lot. 2D almost kicked the door open to empty his guts inside the lines of the next space over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> movin right along
> 
> 2099 - charli xcx


	5. u are angry and that's okay

“It keeps saying he’s in the kitchen!”

“That does not make sense. There is nowhere to hide.” Noodle said as calmly as she could.

“No shit, but that’s what it says. In the kitchen, or at least his leg is. Useless thing, I knew I should’ve gotten him chipped at the pound.” Murdoc replied, trying to sound like he didn’t care.

They’ve been looking for him all day. Now they’re just irritated. Russel said he was going out to look, fooling no one. Murdoc didn’t look much at all. Nothing seemed to be out of place, it was _too_ tidy, red flag number one. His phone was still on his bed, charging, at least before Noodle tore the room up. Red flag two. 

“Forget about the chip. We need to think about where he would be.”

“Do we really _need_ to? He’ll turn up, I’m sure he left a trail of nail varnishes or something.”

 _‘You did not even try with that one.’_ Noodle thought to herself. “You are not funny.” she said out loud instead. 

They didn’t hear him pacing while it was still dark.

No meltdown.

No note. 

No anything. 

“Listen love, I-"

Noodle tuned him out, as usual whenever the “Listen love, I-” started. Fart noises were the only thing that seemed to come out of his mouth during these speeches. No meltdown, no note, no anything. She was thinking of who she could contact to ask if they’ve seen him. Then she thought that was too creepy. She decided to tune back in to the ramble she wasn’t even pretending to listen to.

“-I mean, that’s what _I_ always say.”

“What?- Ughh!” Noodle groaned and flipped the table over with one hand. She didn’t even hear what came out of his mouth. But, she would’ve done whatever it took to get him to shut up. The cocky inflection at the end of his tangent was enough to make her want to flip him over, too. They glared at each other, playing tantrum chicken until Murdoc did his usual “fine!” and walked off. Noodle stood there a while longer, not truly knowing how to take anything. 2D was prone to “wandering off”, she tried to use that to justify why he was chipped like a fucking dog. They always found him sooner or later, but it was harder than with the other two. She couldn’t play detective with him. He never gave many context clues, 2D honestly was a wild card. A fairground, Lebanon, the ocean floor, Guadalupe. They always found him last, or at the last minute. Or he eventually showed up by coincidence. She didn’t feel like putting in the work again, and this time felt different. She imagined him being led by the hand by a magician. She pictured him slinking under a persian rug and vanishing when it was pulled back. And she didn’t know why. He could just be around the corner. She knew he wasn’t. 

_“Where are youuuu, where are youuuu.”_ she sang to herself.

They’d always sing that chorus to each other back in the day whenever one was hiding. She still sang it often, somehow hoping he would pop out whenever he wandered off. 

_“Come to tea, come to tea, you and me, you-and-me, come to tea.”_

…

_…_

_“Easy to, easy to. What-to-do? What to do, where are you-” 2D sang lowly, creeping around Kong kitchen. “You know.. It’s up to FATE!” he jumped in front of the cupboard with his arms up on the last word. Noodle squealed and popped out. Making a dust cloud with the spices and a run for the hall._

_…_

...

She didn’t know if it was worth hunting him this time. ‘He _is_ an adult’, ‘it hasn’t even been that long’, ‘he can go where he wants’, she kept telling herself. And they’ve been fighting. Bad. 2D used to be the mediator. Lately, it feels like his role’s been flipped. The change in him was almost instant. The light in his eyes kept shifting, like a built in mood ring. Only the color code wasn’t listed on a sheet for her to follow. 

It kind of pissed her off. 

She couldn’t keep everyone together to save her life. Not that it was her job, just like peace-keeping wasn’t 2D’s. She thought everything was going so well until he snapped. He stopped talking to her normally, he got blunt with her. Blunt, even for him.

…

_…_

_“Thanks?”_

_“Thanks??” she questioned his tone. She had only brought up his eyelashes. What was this attitude?_

_“I don’t know what that means coming from you.” he didn’t even look up to her telling her that._

_…_

…

He got short and cold with her. Sassy with her. And that was only when he made any sense at all.

...

...

_“You’re still Not Like Other Girls at 30, I can act a little ‘crazy’-” 2D crossed his eyes mockingly. “-if I want to.”_

_…_

_..._

It really pissed her off.

Nothing was right. Nothing made sense. And honestly, it was about time.

Fuck it.

She was tired of this. She thought of all the time she wasted trying to help all of them and how she’d never get it back. That time could’ve been used for literally anything else. She slid down the wall into a sit, pulling out her phone and hoping for a distraction. No texts from him either. No messages from another phone saying “This is 2D” or anything. Fucker. Open twitter, close it. Open instagram, close it. Open twitter, oops, close. Pop left thumb into mouth. Open instagram again. She rewatched the video of 2D ghost riding the geep, why did she take that? Encouraging him throughout the first half of.. whatever this was.. probably wasn’t her best move. She scrolled through the video gifs and tour pictures. Stupid green shorts. Why was she looking at this shit _now_ ? Was she trying to be sure she was _really_ annoyed? Just wasting more time. 

Honestly, she felt like this should be the other way around. _She_ should be the one done with _him_ . It’s the little sibling that resents the bigger one. That's how it's supposed to go. Why should she have to put up with him babbling about nothing and his stupid mood swings? This was just one less thing for her to worry about. So, why did she turn the house around if he’s only been gone a few hours? Why is she _still_ scrolling through her instagram feed? She thought she said fuck it.

 _“Where are youuuu, where are youuuuuu-”_ she sang under her breath again. The phone clacked on the ground after she tossed it half-assedly. 

She looked over at the table. Wait a minute. She crouched down and crawled closer, squinting more and more the closer she got. 

“Ew..” Noodle wrinkled her nose up looking at the underside of the table. The homing chip was stuck there with something she didn't want to think too much about. Like a piece of gum under a library desk.

* * *

 _“Where are youuuuu, where are youuuuu.”_ 2D sang in his sleep from a dip in a motel bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their "where are u" song is pinky blue - altered images
> 
> title is pur - cocteau twins, "im not afraid of ur anger. what do u want, what do u need? i love u and i know that u can figure it out." that's their parent-daughter song ok
> 
> fuck that chip, tootie dug that shit out with a fork! i hate writing murdoc lol. also song machine is cute or whateva.


	6. black is black back 2 black

Ace walked through the night air. Trying to walk off the rest of the nausea. 2D tapped out the minute they got a room. That relieved Ace a bit, it had already been a long day. It felt like it was dragged into a year. He tried to go to sleep along with 2D but kept fading in and out. He decided he might as well take a look around the area. 

Nothing much.

Of course after the Now Now tour, this would seem like the boonies. He had never traveled like that before, he couldn’t remember being on a plane before the tour started. He honestly _still_ felt jet-lagged.

He gandered around the strip, walking past the same stores until he picked one to go in. He never picked one. He cruised all the food spots instead, he figured they should both eat something.

He just noticed that it got dark around him. The bags he was carrying swung back and forth. He knew he got way too much, the different smells did _not_ go together. The nausea might as well have come back. 

He turned his head to breathe in deep, exhaled and made a sprint across the freeway. 

Catching his breath, he stepped into the lot. Circled around the empty husk that was once a pool to slow his sprint back down to a stroll. He walked up the steps, looked for room 23, of course it was room 23. Even though there was no room 22. He felt some of the pink paint peel off the door as it creaked open.

“Twoey..” he whispered.  
  
The body turned over under the covers.  
  
“You up, Twoey? I got us food.”  
  
He snaked around what he thought were obstacles.  
  
“Can I turn the light on?”  
  
He heard the faintest “..yeh”, under the sound of sheets rustling.  
  
“Yeah, that’s why I was out so long. I’m still not sure what ya like so- oh..”  
  
2D rose from under the covers, stretched his back and rolled his head, cracked his shoulders. Not even awake yet. He looked behind him when his eyes finally opened, thanks to Ace’s expression. He looked back at Ace when there was nothing there but the shitty wallpaper.  
  
“What? What’s wrong?” his voice was rough.  
  
“Look... at that... black... hair.” Ace’s mouth raised from the floor and curled more into a smirk with each word.  
  
2D rubbed his eye and nodded.  
  
“Black hair, huh?!”  
  
2D nodded again.  
  
“Yeah? What did you-?” 2D cocked his head at him for a millisecond before remembering the anecdote from their ‘biography’. “Aw, don’t tell me you fell for ‘Tootie fell out of a tree’, too.” He kicked his legs over out of the bed and ran his hands like a cat through the damp crop. Still “crazy” like his blue hair, only because he slept on it wet.  
  
“Well, with everything.. I didn’t think about it- oh my god, and it curls up?! Where’d that come from?”  
  
2D stood up to pop his back. Bending back far enough to freak Ace out a bit. “My mum?”

Ace realized what a big deal he was making.

“So that story was a joke?”

“I don’t know..” he was still half asleep. “I have black eyebrows..”

“Uh..” divert, Ace. Divert dammit. “It’s pretty.”

“Thank you.” 2D said flatly, still focused on getting his back to pop.  
  
Ace set the takeout bags down on the table. He noticed the bag of cotton candy already there. Wait.. no.. ew. 2D’s hair. He looked back and forth between the hair in the bag and the hair on 2D’s head. Realizing that the blue hair wasn’t ‘spiky’. It was damaged. Miscellaneous textures, and all different hues of blues. Almost green where his real hair began, and it was still soaked. No wonder he cut this shit all off. 

“ **YES.** ” 2D finally got his spine to crack.

He looked crazy different. He could’ve been a different person at this angle. Ace stared at the new hair again. Inky black, a couple of white spots if he squinted, he looked like a busted flapper girl. The look was easier to get used to after a minute, it balanced his colors out.

“Why you keepin’ it?” Ace shook the bag a little. So much for diversion.

2D plopped back onto the bed, still rubbing his eyes. “I dunno, I’ve been selling it for years.” he twisted a lock of his real hair. “You never know, I guess.”  
  
Ace pretended that made sense.

“I guess. Wow, Ivy’s gonna flip.”

“Your sister’s name, right?”

“Yeah.”

Ace tossed the bag of hair between his hands, not thinking about how weird this looked. “Are you tryna hide?” 

“What?”

“Like-” he waved the bag. “Black hair isn’t really your _look_ , huh?”

“Oh.. what’s Ivy like?” 

2D completely dropped the subject. That was fine with Ace.

“Mmh.. smart.”

“Oh, so you’re not really siblings.”

“Well-” Ace realized the joke. “Shut up.”

“Tell me more.”

He fought the urge to start singing Summer Nights. “Well, you’re right. We don’t share parents or nothing but, you know.. she’s my baby sister. She has been since we were 12.. 13? We were in the same programs. Kinda felt like I had to look after her, you know?” 

“Programs?”

“Yeah, that ‘At Risk’ type of stuff.” there weren’t air quotes big enough for how Ace said that. “Tried to give us hobbies and whatever. So we wouldn’t go around stabbing each other or whatever they thought we did.” 

2D nodded. Ace noticed he was actually listening and kept going

“Yeah, she’s a really good actor. Like, she’s funny. Real funny. She plays off of people real well. Our program was theater type blah blah blah.” 

“Aw, you’re a thespian.”

Ace just nodded because he couldn’t recall that word. “Yeah, we did plays, we were in like.. one commercial, then landed that powerpuff gig pretty much. It happened really fast.”

2D slapped his thighs with his hands. “Oh my god, I thought I recognized you!”

Ace wanted to hide his face.

“I’m so dumb. Heh-those-“ he started peppering his words with laughter. “Th- those girls were cops!” he breathed in to try talking normally again. “God, Noodle watched that shit religiously.. we all did.”

“Didn’t know you were such a fan.”

“I could say the same about you, dear.”

Ace looked to the side. 

“Wait, so who did your sister play in the show?”

“She was in that gang, too.” he kept his eyes to the floor.

2D tried to remember what they all looked like. Ace could almost hear the wheels turning in 2D’s head. He definitely heard him squint, eyes going side to side. A slow nod confirmed that he put two and two together.

Ace still didn’t know what else to do but look at the carpet. He felt two hands cup his face and held in a ‘what the fuck?’.

“Dunh dunh dunna duh dun-dun!” 2D sang the theme song while squishing Ace’s face. He tried to sing it again before he cut himself off with a giggle fit. 

“You should eat something.”

“Y-yeah.” 2D noticed that he made this awkward. He released Ace’s cheeks and tapped his fingers. He looked behind Ace, even though Ace thought he was being looked in the eye. 

“What did you g- oh fuck me.” 2D leaped over Ace. He tried to scramble for his jacket that was sliding off the chair. Too late. He landed on the floor along with everything in the pockets. Great form.

“Ow.”

Ace tried to help out, he reached for the pile on the floor. 2D’s folded passport caught his eye. 

**POT**

**STUART SAID**

**BRITISH CITIZEN**

**23 MAY / MAY 80**

Said? 

“Said?” he handed the passport while gathering the cigarettes he guessed they were bought with.

2D furrowed his brows. “Said what?

“Said.” Ace repeated, pointing to the words on the page.

“I didn’t say anything.”

Ace directly tapped the middle name on the booklet. 2D gave a face that read ‘oh..’ but it quickly turned into one that was annoyed as he looked back up.

“ _Sai-eed_.”

“I thought your middle name was Harold.”

“Where the hell- wait. You read that wiki thing, don’t you?”

Ace looked down, embarrassed.

“I saw that thing, it’s annoying. Listen, my parents loved me enough not to call me Harold. My first name’s bad enough.” 2D laughed.

They both scanned what they gathered from the floor. Ace looked to 2D’s hands, they were shaking a little, his nails were purple. He guessed it was the same shade as the bottle in his own hand.

“Sah-yeeeed.” Ace over-enunciated.

“You got it.” 2D lied. “It means ‘lucky’, I think.” he rolled his eyes. “It’s my jinx, I guess.”

“I like that.” he handed 2D the rest of his things. 

2D smiled and passed a sucker back. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sa'id, Usage:Arabic, Scripts: سعيد(Arabic), Means "happy, lucky" in Arabic. This was the name of a companion of the Prophet Muhammad." 
> 
> black is black - los bravos / back to black - amy winehouse duh


	7. so what i got an attitude, bitch i got an attitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drama drama drama  
> cw ablelist slur  
> attitude - leikeli47

_“You’ll never get my mind right like two ships passing in the night-.”_ The radio sang. 2d had his head out the window but Ace could see him singing along.

_“In the niii-ight, in the niii- iii ~ ight.”_

Ace kind of liked how 2D seemed to know every song. Hearing his takes on them and him making fun of the advertisements made the drive go faster, at least. He heard him break the song off but couldn’t make out what he said.

“What?’

2D ducked his head back into the van.

“California’s **big**.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. I’ve never seen so much of it before. In England it takes like.. 4 hours to get from the top to the bottom. It took us 2 days just to get out of LA.” 

“Only cuz you puked.”

“Then you puked, bitch.”

“Don’t give me that. I puked cuz you did.”

“You still puked.”

“Well okay, yeah Cali is bigger than your HQ. Where was it, Michigan?”

“Yeah, not like I’m ever seeing Michigan again. Puker."

“You guys didn’t keep the house, Pukette?"

“Oh no, we wrecked that place.”

“What?”

“I know, right? We never change. I’m kind of glad not to be there anymore, though. That kitchen was tiny.”

…

…

_“Dee, come on! This ain’t like you! Calm down!”_

**_“nnNNO!”_ ** _2D yelled, thrashing for what sounded like for dear life._

_“Just keep him down.”_

**_“NOOOOO!!”_ **

_His hand seemed to go for Murdoc’s throat._

_They pinned his arms before they could get too far off the ground. Noodle on one and Murdoc on the other. He started trying to kick them away. It looked like it was on purpose. His waist bent up and down, his legs kept flying._

_“Shut up!”_

_Noodle slammed his head back down, making his face do fish lips with her palm._

**_“NOOOOOOOOOOaaAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHH-!!!! AAAEH!!”_ **

_The pots and pans crashed as he was able to move the three others around enough. Russel grabbed his legs and he kept thrashing until it looked like he fell asleep._

_…_

...

“Well, any kitchen is tiny for you.”

2D sucked his teeth and cut his eyes at Ace. “I’m gonna let you have that one.”

“What happened to the place, anyway?”

“You know that game Just Dance, right?”

Okay, he _had_ to see where this story goes. 

“Yeah, the one where you ‘just dance’ and what not.”

“That one. Yeah, we went through the floor.”

Ace squinted, thinking this was a joke that didn’t land.

“Mhmm.” 2D nodded.

“Like-?” Ace spread his hands apart and then pointed down. 2D made a crashing sound to compliment his hands landing back onto the wheel. “I know you guys are notorious for destroying places. But, Just Dance?”

“The Kriss Kross level.”

“Oh my god.”

“Right, so the song goes ‘Jump Jump’, so we all go ‘Jump Jump’ and the floor goes ‘Bye Bye’.”

“Oh my god?”

“We thought we felt it give when we all tried and failed to do the splits during the “I Feel Good” dance but..”

This had to be a joke but it was too stupid to be false.

“You think I’m joking but it happened.” 2D bent his leg up onto the seat to rest his head on his knee.

“No no, I believe it. Crazier things have happened to you guys.”

“I know Russel was pissed about it. Those ghosts were there first and we just came along and fucked up their place. It was awful! We were all in a pile, the water started going all over the place. I think my rib is still fucked up from that.” he straightened his torso and pushed down a little at the bottom of his ribcage. Ace tried not to grimace at the soft popping noise. “It was awful, awful.”

“Wow Twoey, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

 _“AAAAAAHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA- feel guh.”_ the radio started blaring. It made both of their heads whip around to face it. 2D’s face shriveled up in disgust and he swatted at the dial before the bassline could start. The static that came after sounded worlds better than the last station, anything would.

“Yeah, I’m glad to be out of there. I didn’t even get a door for my room, it was like I was under surveillance or something.” he squeezed one hand with the other. “Again.”

“Mm..” Ace felt grateful he didn’t have anything else to say because he didn't want to keep digging. He hoped it didn’t sound like he was pitying him. The radio kept switching, he looked over to see.

_“Criminal cri-crimi-”_ Cshhh. “A NEW HEAVEN AND NE-” Cshhh. _“-solation, reset my-”_ Cshhh. _“like a light, slept th-”_ Cshhh. Cshhh. Cshhh.

2D’s eyes were out of focus, eyelids heavy. He was turning the dial, but it didn’t look like there was any goal. Ace kept shifting his eyes between the road and 2D to get a better look. 2D was looking to the lower right again. When his head finally came back up, he looked confused and pressed down on the dial to shut it off.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” he grunted. “Again.” he repeated the last word of his sentence. “Man, I hated that room.”

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“S’okay.”

…

...

_“Oh right, the retard has to stay that way, right?! We fight ghosts and shit all the time, she’s a weapon turned Wokesperson, and he’s.. a literal terrorist, but me wanting autonomy is weird?! Right?!”_

_2D wanted nothing more than to be able to pace around right now. He could barely fit inside that broom closet of a room when he was sleeping._

_“Autonomy.” Russel half-mocked. “What is the_ **_matter_ ** _with you?!”_

_“I DON’T KNOW.”_

_“I don’t believe that.”_

_“I am so fucking tired of all of this!” his voice rose at the end of his sentence like he was asking a question. He sucked his teeth, “Since you all hate me anyway, I might as well, okay?! Come back looking like a barbie doll. None of you will know what to do! If it’ll make people shut up!”_

_“What are you talking about?! Who hates you?!”_

_“Are you fucking with me right now?!” he knew he used the wrong word, but he also knew that Russel understood what he meant. “Who doesn’t?”_

_“You’re not-“ ‘making any sense’, he decided not to say. Tired of hearing that himself. “Why are you just now letting anyone know this?!”_

_“Oh my_ **_GOOAAAAAHHHHH-_ ** _!!!” he slammed his face into the mattress as the last word turned into a scream. Russel’s heart jumped up into his throat at the sound. He caught himself stepping back._

_2D laid there._

_And laid there._

_Russel was scared to check if he was dead. He hated that he wasn’t sure if he was joking when he thought that._

_“What happened?” he didn’t hear Noodle open the curtain._

_Oh god._

_He turned around to face her, her expression was just as clueless._

_“I heard him scream-“_

_“I broke my nail off..” 2d said, giving a thumbs up. Half-assedly hiding the nail hanging from the corner of his mouth._

_Noodle squinted at 2d, 2d raised his eyebrows back. This went on for way too long._

_“I don’t know what you want, little one.”_

_Noodle rolled her eyes and pushed herself out of the curtains. She tried throwing them since there was nothing to slam._

_“Don’t even get me started on her.”_

_“I will, END-” Noodle started, sprinting back. She was done with this attitude. 2D cut her off quick._

_“Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah.”_

_…_

_..._

“Hey.”

“Hm?” 

“Jump.. jump.”

“The mack-daddy make ya!”

“Jump jump!”

“Twoey and Ace will make ya!”

2D pushed his glasses back onto his face. He threw his head back, cackling. “Aaaahhh! That was so stupid! We were like YEEEEEE! BASH!!” he mimicked Ace’s falling hand motion before he bent forward to dig through his jacket pocket, still chortling.

“The Just Dance massacre. What else are you hiding from me, Twoey?”

2D grabbed a cigarette from the carton with his mouth. He lit the end and drew.

“What do you wanna know?”

Ace bit his lip, he wasn’t expecting such a serious tone.

“Sorry, I'm being dramatic again.” 2D said, giggling off his theatrics. 

He reached for the dial again and prayed that Feel Good Inc was over. He accepted MIA spitting about pirate skulls and bones and leaned back. These ‘throwback hours’ on the radio always seemed to get longer and longer.

 _“ALL I WANNA DO IS-”_ they started screaming along, making unnecessary gestures in time with the gunshots.


	8. ivy-baby-sweetheart

Ace felt underdressed around 2D today. No, that’s not the right word. If he was cattier, he would’ve asked if he only had 5 minutes to pack. These were some bold choices. For him, at least. Ace guessed someone could only wear a striped shirt for so long. And the polka dot jeans were a look, went with the green nails.

“We’re he~yah” he sing-songed.

  
“This place is cute.” 2D stretched out on the dashboard, popping his back so hard that Ace felt it a little.

  
“Right?”

  
They both stepped out of the vango and started stretching, looking goofy. There was a short contest to see who could look goofier. Ace gave up when 2D started squatting like he was trying to lay an egg.

  
“Okay, you won that-.. does your shirt say ‘move bitch’?”

  
2D looked down to check, then he looked back up and nodded.

  
“I don’t even remember what I was gonna say.”

* * *

The girl at the desk had a similar green tinge like Ace. Not as intense, yellow undertones still came out. 2D jumped in his skin since he didn’t see her at first. Her hair was bleached into a pinkish-orange. The color combination should _not_ have gone together but it did. She looked more jaundiced than anything. 2D guessed she may get greener with age, that's how things seemed to work with that skin tone. She clicked through her puzzle or quiz or whatever she was playing.

  
“Hey, is Ivy here?”

  
The girl laughed through her nose.

  
“Oh c’mon Yolanda, I haven’t been gone that long. Ain’t this her studio?”

  
“In a sense.”

  
“What do you mean ‘in a sense’?”

  
“What do you mean ‘what do you mean’?”

  
“I’m not doing this with you.”

  
“You wanna go?”

  
“Little girl!”

  
2D looked around the place while they bickered. Ace never said exactly what Ivy did now, the name of the studio was just “Krait”. He wanted to see if he could figure it out. The place was super west coast, kind of dark. Incense, lucky cat, chopped-n-slowed Rihanna coming from the speaker, the works. Jade tchotchkes. He huffed at the framed picture of the band from more than a decade ago. It was autographed, he assumed it was legit.

  
“Oh.. you shouldn’t have.” Yolanda said dryly, unwrapping the ‘Art Disease’ tour shirt Ace gave to her.

  
“You’re lucky we had your size, doll. You know we only made like twenty- Aaaaaaah! there she is!”

  
The woman walking in looked up from the bag of sour patch kids she was trying to open with her nail. Fucking up her fill-in. She was green too, chartreuse, with a long mouth covered in black lip stain. A roman nose, and the whites of her eyes were off like Ace’s.

  
“Oh shit-“ she laughed. She rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming.

  
Ace ran to her, picked her up and spun her around, he didn’t get her far off the ground. “Ivy-baby-sweetheart-sugarblossom-cinnamonapple-I missed you so much-my baby-my kitten-pumpkinspicedumpling-my angel-my darling-” he raised his voice high.

  
“Ace I swear to god.”

  
This was too good.

  
“I brought a friend, s’that okay?” he turned his back towards 2D so that Ivy would face him.

  
“I mean, nothing would have stopped you-“ Ivy cut herself off. Even being lifted she still had to look up. Her eyes widened and her shoulders laxed. “Fuck me sideways~”

  
2D liked how she almost hissed her S’s.

  
“You’re 2D.”

  
Yolanda peeked over the desk.

  
“Acupuncture.” he replied, not knowing why he didn’t just say ‘hi’.

  
She smiled using all of her teeth. “How could you tell?” she could admit her decor was a little on the nose. She started slapping Ace’s back trying to ask him to let her down.

  
“Has he been giving you grief?” she nodded toward Ace. She stabbed the bag with her pinky nail after trying to open it since she walked in. She got it.

  
“That mosquito with shades on behind you? Oh yeah, he’s the worst.”

  
Ivy smiled, smacking on the candy, and turned her head back towards her brother. Her long, dark hair was almost moving by itself. “I knew I’d like him!” she whipped back around, somehow not getting whiplash by now. 2d looked down at his hands.

  
“You was.. were his favorite, I get it now.”

  
“Ivy-” Ace interjected.

  
“I love the hair.” she cut him off. One side of her smile stretched farther than the other.

  
“You don’t gotta lie.”

  
“No, really.” Ivy liked him, too. “Ooh, and the glasses~”

  
2D fiddled with them since he didn’t know how to take the compliment.

  
“Oh yeah, I really get it now.”

  
“Ivy please..” Ace whined.

  
“What brings you here, doll?”

  
“Ace said he had a sister, nothing else is going on, so I had to see.”

  
Yolanda pointed to the old picture and mouthed ‘that’s him?’ Ace nodded to her. She nodded back quickly once she compared the 2D on the poster to the one in front of her a few more times. She saw it now. Interesting.

  
“I’m sure he’s bored you with stories about us.”

  
“Uh-uh.” 2D shook his head, he was terrible at small talk.

  
“Uh.. s-sit down! Sit down.” she walked over to the couch and presented it to them. The jitters were finally starting to hit her. ”We’re about to close anyway.”

  
“Does that mean I’m good? I got homework.” Yolanda said. Ivy honestly forgot she was there.

  
“Go home, babydoll.”

  
“Yay.” Yolanda kept looking over at 2D instead of getting up. 2D was staring her down too even though she couldn’t tell. She started it.

* * *

Ivy’s pad was on top of the studio, as if the place wasn’t cute enough. It matched the downstairs. Simple if you overlooked all the knick-knacks, kind of dark, personal. One of those houses where you could fall asleep anywhere

“You don’t have to do that Ivy. Sleep in your bed.”

  
She had them set up on an air mat in the living room. It was covered with pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals in some attempt to make it comfortable. She made her own space on the couch next to them. Her little yappy dog was nested under the covers on her lap. Bitch was a model, messy bun and house shoes. You could tell her pajamas were a set, probably a negligee, even if she was covered by a blanket.

  
“No that’s not fair, let me be uncomfortable with you two.”

  
“If you insist, doll.”

  
They didn’t do very much since they went upstairs. Smoked a little bit, drank a little bit, ate all of Ivy’s snacks. Sitting and chatting, Ivy played barely audible music from her phone. 2D didn’t have too much to say, nothing got him going. She imagined Ace and 2D being a little wilder, and was relieved when they laid almost motionless on the mat all night. She figured she’ll see what they’re really like together later. Then she’ll come out of her shell, too. It had been a long day for all of them. Ace had a little tell-all about the tour and Ivy shook her head with disappointment. 2D just listened to the siblings go back and forth, passing the pen, eyeing the piano the whole time.

  
“-I was minding my damn business eating some damn fruit, okay?!”

  
“That’s soooo fucked up.” she took a long hit of the pen and exhaled through her nose. "If it makes _you_ cuss like that."

  
“Listen, it was nuts. It’s over at least.”

  
“Hm. 2D, you okay?”

  
2D stopped paying attention about 20 minutes ago, Ivy noticed. No response, though.

  
“2- uh..”

  
“I call him Twoey.” Ace squished 2D’s face with his hand.

  
“What?” he said, sounding a little irritated.

  
“You okay, Twoey-honey?” Ivy asked again.

  
“I’m fine, yeah.”

  
“You sure? Do you need- ?”

  
“It’s great, Ivy.” he hugged the stuffed cheetah to his chest, trying to look comfortable.

  
“If you say so.. Oh my god, look at him.”

  
Ace was already out like a light. His mouth was hanging open and everything. 2D pried his hand from his face. He couldn’t help but wheeze at Ace’s expression.

  
“He’s been the one driving, I know he’s tired.” he laid Ace’s arm back down. Then positioned the cheetah under his neck so he wouldn’t have to crack it Twoey-style in the morning. This was.. sweet. She expected him to whip out a pen and go to town on Ace’s forehead. It looked routine. He’s done this before.

  
“Thanks for taking care of him.” her eyes were drooping, too.

  
2D shook his head. “S’nothing.”

  
“You don’t like ‘Twoey’, do you?”

  
2D was convinced this woman was psychic. It could have been the fact that he didn’t know how to fix his face. She sat up straight and patted the space next to her. The dog poked her head out from under the blanket and dove right back in. He clutched at the words on the shirt of Russel’s he was wearing as he sat up. It was the last thing he swiped before he left, he needed something to sleep in.

  
“It’s not.. rael? Rai-elle?” Ivy read.

  
“I don’t know either. Uh, Twoey’s fine. Better than other things.” he accepted the invitation to sit next to her. She covered him with the blanket, too.

  
“Better than Stuart?”

  
“Ew..” He almost tensed up like a scared animal hearing the name, he bared his teeth a bit and shuddered. He hated that his legal was common knowledge almost as much as he hated the name itself. “Literally anything’s better than Stuart.” He ran his finger around the rim of the empty bottle he was fiddling with.

  
“Anything?”

  
“A-ny-thing. It means ‘steward’ like ‘stewardess’. Even if things didn’t work out the way they did, I had to change it. You know?”

  
“I do. My name was Sanford, that’s not a name. It sounds like a racial slur.”

  
2d guffawed at the comparison. He quickly smacked his hand over his mouth when he made the sound. The both looked to Ace. Knocked. It was safe to keep talking.

  
“And him..” she put her palm flat to the side of her mouth. “Giuseppe.”

  
“I knew it.” 2D felt the goosebumps from Ivy’s whisper. “Italian ass.. he looks like a Giuseppe, too.” he whispered back.

  
“No one could ever figure out how to say it, that’s why he goes by Ace.”

  
“I feel him, he tried to say my middle name and I thought he had a stroke.”

  
“You don’t look like a stewardess.”

  
“I dunno, really. I think I’d be pretty good at it.” 2D started holding out his palm like he was handing out something. “Coffee?” he switched palms. “Peanut?” he kept switching. “Coffee? Peanut? Coffee? The seats don’t really float. Peanut?”

  
Ivy laughed in her throat. She looked at him for a while, like she knew something. 2D could tell but was nodding off too hard to be bothered. He rested his head on his knee and looked at nothing.

  
“I really like your hair.”

  
“For real?”

  
“Yes. It suits you. I wish mine did that.”

  
He looked at her hair, some of it had escaped from her bun. It was bone straight like Noodle’s, and it seemed to go on forever. He always wondered what that felt like since his always grew more out than down.

  
They kept chatting, small talk that turned into personal things, since they were both equally terrible at it. The personal things turned into questions, turning to half-finished jokes. 2D was just grateful they didn’t talk about Gorillaz at all. The purple night clouds crawled across the sky, clocking in for their shift. What they guessed were frogs started their choir practice. It sounded like a lullaby. 2D sang along in gibberish until he and Ivy fell asleep right where they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> say the title out loud in the most twee voice u can  
> ivy-sales


	9. that's not what u meant, now u lost a friend

Russel sat on the couch with Noodle. They tried to keep the same routine of doing nothing, “resting”, they called it. It became quieter in their HQ since 2D dipped. He was almost relieved about the situation. It’s only been a few days, but they’ve already said ‘fuck it’. Honestly, Russ would be fine with this being it for now on.

Even if he did crave 2D’s weight on him like it was before whenever they watched tv. Already. Again.

And his droopy eyelids whenever he started to nod off but didn’t want to miss anything. And his hiccups that you didn’t notice unless the moment was calm like this. And his butterscotch smell, that wasn’t really butterscotch but there was no other word. And, and, and. For real, what could they do? Put his face on a milk carton? Set a trap? He clearly wasn’t missing, and Murdoc didn’t allow him to have any enemies. He could picture the lost puppy poster now.

Eyes: Black (they look more red, but whatever, also sometimes white), Hair: sure, Height: somewhere between 6 and 7 feet (he’s a biggun), last seen wearing a black t-shirt and jeans that are too small because he doesn’t get paid. We underestimate his competence so we'll say he's helpless by himself. The word ‘missing’ is crossed out, the word ‘WANTED’ takes its place in bad handwriting.

He imagined him reaching for a banana under a box and the box falling on top of him. Only for a Noodle to tie him up and prepare to drag him away. He cut off the thought before it got any more demeaning. What were they watching again? Some kind of “90s throwback block” that always comes on at 3am since 2008. He looked over to Noodle, and couldn’t tell if she was even awake.

2D's escape was past due, it's built itself up over and over again.

…

**_SMACK!_ **

_2D looked up and held the cheek that was hit. He looked up to Russel despite being so much taller. He was hunched in the habit of protecting himself from another blow. No offense to Russel, even though he had earned it. Old habits die hard. The look of disbelief morphed into a look of annoyance. ‘You too? Seriously?’, it said, as 2D straightened his back to full height. ‘Again?’, it reminded him. Russel wasn’t sorry for what he did. It was the only way for, whatever this was, to stop that he could figure. He’s been trying to ‘knock’ 2D out of it, whatever ‘it’ was, ever since ‘it’ started. That trip in their Humility video wasn’t scripted, even though they kept it in. Since it was funny or something._

_He saw the light in those busted eyes turn. And before he knew it, he was on the floor. Somehow, 2D had kicked him off the bed. Not too surprising, the bitch has legs for days. And the new weight he put on probably helped, too. He called it his "pre-Murdoc" weight, "I'm supposed to look like this, this is my pre-Murdoc weight". It wasn't much of a fight, but the action still gave him a good startle. It ‘wasn’t like him’, something everyone’s been saying lately._

_“Get out of my room, Russ.”_

_He pointed to the exit in his broom closet of a room. At least this one had a door._

_“Please. Go away.”_

…

The thing he wanted 2D here for the most was to ramble at him. He always listened whenever his mind had to vomit like this when he stayed up too late. Big eyes making slow blinks as he registered everything. 2D always listened to him, no matter what. Even if he was tired, even after they fought. He must have run out of argument tokens with him. He felt pathetic becoming dependent on 2 fucking D of all people for something like this. And he felt ashamed that he thought about him that way. As if 2D wasn't the best choice to vent to out of his co-workers. Russ swallowed the brain puke and slowly made his eyes shut. Maybe he’ll be back in the morning, he hoped for the 3rd time this week. 

* * *

Ace woke up to a belch in his face. 

“Oh my god.”

He opened his eyes to see a little smushed one panting _way_ too close to him.

“Mochi.. come on.”

Ivy’s dog took that as an offer to cuddle up next to him. He sometimes felt like Mochi was karma for being so annoying when he was younger. Her fur kept tickling his nose.

“I’m **begging** you, dog. Twoey, you want her?”

No answer.

2D had woken him three times during the night. The first time he felt him get back onto the mat. No big deal, barely woke up, fell back asleep. The second time was from him punching the side of the mat. They both looked at each other, 2D said ‘sorry’. It was fine, go back to sleep. The third time, 2D rose like the undead. He was just sitting up, mouth agape, eyes a quarter way open and light. His body looked.. crooked. He was pulling at his shirt mechanically. Ace wasn’t sure if he dreamt the third instance or not.

He looked behind him, no Twoey. Whatever, his eyes seemed to close outside of his control. He let Mochi chill with him, it wouldn’t matter in 3 minutes.

“aaoooooOWWWW **WWWWWWW-!** ”

That got him up. He sprung into action, wobbling towards wherever that sound came from. The tap tap of Mochi’s little legs followed him. He had someone to back him up, good.

“The worst part’s over, honey!” 

That was Ivy, in the kitchen. ‘With the crowbar’, he said in his mind, trying to make a joke for some reason. He didn’t even get it.

Ace wasn’t sure what he walked into.

“Let me just twist this.” 

Ivy was crouched over 2D’s face, arms working. 2D was laid across the kitchen table. What the hell?

“Ah ah ah- keep it open.”

2D tried to say ‘sorry’ with his mouth open but ended up singing two notes instead.

“Gorgeousss..”

“I thought that would be worse.”

“What did y’all do?!” ‘y’all’ sounded very wrong coming out of Ace’s mouth. Ivy gave a quizzical look at the word then quickly shook it off.

“Very important procedure. We're lucky we got to it in time.” she tried to say sternly, but couldn't hold in her laughter.

“Ivy Jade!”

2D rose like Frankenstein’s monster, almost made Ace jump. It was similar to the way he rose in the middle of the night. There was a large stud in his cheek leaking blood.

“Aw, sh-nuts..”

A bolt to bring the monster to life.

“Ivy no, remember my belly button?”

There was something tickling his back, he reached into his shirt to grab it and it was much bigger than expected. Chiquita? Ivy’s stuffed cheetah. How’d that get there?

“No no, it’s okay! We were talking about her job and somehow we got on her tongue.” 2D spoke up.

Ivy stuck her tongue out and moved each muscle. Ace knew it was split but he appreciated the visual evidence. He felt Mochi keep jumping to reach the plushie.

“So, I was like, ‘aaaah I couldn’t do it my tongue ring was bad enough!’, one thing led to another uhh..”

“So you Blac Chyna-ed him?” Ace decided to finish 2D's story himself.

“They asked me to!”

2D nodded to back her up.

Ace held the plushie like a baby and rubbed his temple. “Ivy Jaaaaade.. I don’t even wanna know where you got the jewelry.”

“That’s okay, I wasn’t gonna tell you.”

“It.. _does_ work on you, though.” Ace sighed in defeat.

2D smiled and the jewelry fucking ‘dinged’ as they did. Ivy dabbed at the wound, proud of her collaboration to this budding new look.

“You’re just changing it _all_ up, huh?”

“You know it, baby.” they outstretched their arms and one leg.

“They need a new look if we’re going out tonight.” Ivy cleaned the spot one more time.

“I don’t know about all that.” Ace slumped down in the nearest seat. He was more tired than he thought now that there was no reason to be alarmed. The mere thought of going out made his eyelids feel heavy again. “You sure you wanna be.. like.. seen, Twoey?”

“We are _not_ that popular. I don’t know if I care if I get spotted.” 2D put their fist to their chin, as if they had to really think about it. “Which I won’t!”

Okay then.

* * *

_“Meet me in the trap, it’s goin down.”_ 2D half sang.

_“Meet me in the mall, it’s goin down.”_ Ace replied.

It was Friday, the studio’s hours were short. They were trying to kill the time until Ivy came back upstairs. 2D was banging the shit out of the piano throughout their ringtone-rap medley. Their eye was on it since they got there. They both knew that they were probably annoying but the will to live out of Ivy and her clients downstairs. Even though they were bored enough to act this goofy, it was nice to have some downtime without the atmosphere weighing on them and crushing their back. There was no feeling of shit about to pop off at a moment's notice. 2D wasn't used to this, and it made them kind of paranoid. Like something was bound to go wrong anyway. They decided to wait it out, banging on the piano to fight off whatever panic attack was imminent. 

“Play something for real.” Ace asked.

“Uh, sure.”

2D started playing something jaunty. Long fingers spider-ing on the keys. The nails were blue and pink today, and already getting longer.

_“Scumbag.. hm hm hm milk crate all day long.. from morning until night.. hm hm hmhm..”_ They bent over, holding their ear closer to the keys. The new piercing in their cheek was swollen and glistening. They put their head on the keyboard, making a chaotic _‘CLUNG’_ noise to end the song.

“You think she’s done?” 2D asked, looking at nothing.

“I don’t know, she’s not up here trying to burn the piano.”

“You wanna go see?” they dug through their jacket pocket to get the cigarettes inside. Mochi followed them.

“Nothing’s gonna stop you.”

* * *

_“Meet me in the trap, it’s goin down..”_

_“Meet me in the mall, it’s goin down..”_

They were halfway down the stairs, determined to get the song in the head of whatever poor soul was waiting down there.

_"Meet me in the clu-"_

2D came to a halt, and Ace almost took both of them down the stairs trying to stop in time. Mochi decided ‘fuck this noise’ and hopped back up the stairs.

“Wait a minute..” 2D put their hand up. They snuck up to a woman sitting in the lobby, realized that was creepy and just started walking up slowly. She was the only one there. They didn’t get too close, one chair away, just in case. Ace didn’t follow, instead perched on the stair he almost died on. He tried to get a better look at her. He couldn’t tell if her hair was a wig, then pinched himself in his head because that was rude.

“Venus?” 2D whispered. 

The woman looked up and brushed thick bangs out of her face. Her jaw dropped. 

“Birdee? GUUUURL!”

“BIIIIIIIIIITCH!”

They met in the chair between them and tackled each other. 2D looked like they were about to cry. 

“What are you doing here?” they both said at once.

“I-” they both started again, “I-” and again before they gave up and scream-laughed at each other.

“Look at you.. betty boop.” she pushed some of their inky hair back.

“I got tired of that bluebird act.” they pushed their hair back to where it was.

“Good. It was dying, baby. You look healthy.”

"I try." 2D rolled their eyes.

She rubbed her thumb across their still healing left eye. As if to say, ‘what happened here?’. 2D barely shrugged as a response. Ace watched the two talk with their eyes.

“Venus?” Ivy called. 

Duh, she had an appointment. Their reunion was cut short, but they looked at each other like they’d never see each other again.

“Come here, gurl.” Venus said, pulling 2D in.

They hugged for a long time, Ace and Ivy watched their chests rise and fall, pulling in each other’s air. Venus pulled away, even though Ivy would let them sit there forever. Their necklaces tangled before Venus could get up. 2D’s heart fluttered seeing that her necklace was the charm from the friendship bracelet they made her. It was rusted, but it was there. The actual bracelet must have decomposed by now.

They wiped their eye as they freed their jewelry.

“See you later.” Venus whispered, holding their hands until they drifted apart.

“Okay. Go get pricked.. that.. didn’t sound right.”

They both scream-laughed again as Venus disappeared behind the curtain.

Ace envied 2D’s inability to meet a stranger.

“Who?”

“We met on a beach.” they didn’t take their eyes off the curtain.

“Ah, your weekend wife.”

They left out the part about them being emaciated. And Venus being the only stability of that time other than a fucking whale carcass and some 'spirit' in a gas mask that was more of an irritant than a threat. And how stupid they felt for not realizing there were people where they were, so they left out how they could’ve met her earlier. Forgot to mention how she was the first friend they had in years at the time other than a 'failed' robot copy of an idea of their sister-daughter. And how Gorillaz didn't come up once during the time they spent together. How they don’t bring Venus up because the relationship was only allowed due to it being private. So they had to hide it like a teenager. They left out how they didn’t get to say a proper goodbye because they were beckoned back by a filthy green finger.

And they really didn’t want to bring it up. Why ruin the moment?

“Yeah. My weekend wife.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw russ miss his best friendt, and tootie's not allowed to have any. pronoun change bc i feel like it. tootie met venus in guadalupe if that shit was even canon.
> 
> happy juneteenth
> 
> runnin' - kelis


	10. bring out the dogs, get on ya feet, lie on the floor

So, maybe going out wasn’t the best idea.

No one was there, no one could dance, and no one would leave Ivy alone. 2D was unaware of how popular she was locally. There was no cover for the three of them thanks to her. They were grateful their newer albums were so polarizing (apparently) because they didn’t miss being hounded like that at all.

“You’re my date for the night, okay? There’s probably people I don’t wanna see.”

“I gotchu, darling.”

2D and Ivy locked pinkies as they smiled at each other cheesily. 

* * *

_“Ivy! Ivy! Ivy-baby! Ivy-baby-sweetheart! Ivy-I-Love-Your-Look!”_

The outing wasn't anything 2D didn't expect. Dark room, but it had too much going on at the same time. Kind of cramped for what it's advertising, a bar, of course. Sad little dance floor, there was probably a larger one in the next room for some reason. Someone emulating Ivy in their own way would waltz up every few minutes and act like they haven't seen her for decades. She looked less than thrilled by most of the visitors in her eyes, even though she flashed her widest smile at each of them.

The killer was, a lot of the people coming up to her decided she was 'too much' or not what they needed. Not the right kind of token, as if they had a brand or something. Some of them decided that about her not even months earlier. Too many of these people rotate her in and out of their circles as they pleased. Until they wanted to make an appointment, or she posted a good picture. Her new dress changed their minds this time, she guessed.

She deserved to go out, too. Dammit. Even though this happens every time. And tonight just kept dragging.

She’d put her hand around 2D’s waist whenever she’d had enough. 2D would put their’s around her hip and usher her away. It was usually Ace’s job, Big Brother Instinct, but he had a break this time. Meaning he didn’t have much to do, either. He was in the corner with some others, catching up, probably flirting.

Ivy and 2D swayed to whatever was playing in the corner across from Ace. Pinkies still curled around each other, betting on whether he'd make a move or not. It wasn't like anything else was happening. Slow night maybe, it was kind of early.

 _“aaaaAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAA, fee-guh.”_ the speakers started bumping as the bassline kicked in.

2D sneered at the opening.

“God wh- what in the 2005?”

“I know, it’s these 20 year olds, I swear. It's all coming back in a circle.” Ivy hissed.

“I can’t escape this shit.” they started rubbing their head.

“Hm?” she looked over to them. They looked.. sick.

2D made a beeline for the restroom, swinging the door open and not caring which one they went into. 

“Oh god.”

Ivy lunged towards Ace and stroked his shoulder to get his attention.

“They’re throwing up, I’ll be right back.” she might as well have mouthed to him under the obnoxious bassline.

“What?”

“Twoey..” she pointed towards the restroom. “Ughblehhhh.” she mimed spew coming from her mouth with her hand.

“Oh jeez, should I-”

She shook her head no and waved him away as she followed 2D’s trail.

By some kind of miracle 2D was the only one in the bathroom. They were standing at the sink, the faucet was running.

“Twoey?”

2D was either looking up in the mirror or looking down at nothing, they didn’t respond.

“You okay, honey?” 

Nothing.

“Twoey. Hello?” she put her hand on their shoulder.

They were pulling at the bandana around their neck, like they were stuck in a loop. She stroked their shoulder and let them do their thing. The piercing in their cheek was still swollen and bright, it had a little heartbeat of its own. Ivy was sure she knew all the signs of infection. None were showing, but she was still worried that she caused this for no good reason.

The door opened, Ivy whipped her head around to the noise, and her hair followed behind her. Whoever was there said ‘sorry’ and walked back out. Ivy held her hand in the air right behind 2D’s back. Using some sort of hypothetical mind power to make sure they stay upright. 2D blinked rapidly as their eyes refocused and turned the faucet off.

“You back?”

“Mhmm.” they huffed and smoothed their hair back, didn’t like it, then pushed it back forward.

“Welcome back.”

Ivy straightened their outfit out and put the back of her palm on their cheek.

They both heard the door open again. 2D screamed and covered themself even though they were fully dressed. The door shut back immediately.

“Okay, that was good.”

“It’s my favorite trick.”

“I’ll have to use that when I’m closing.”

2D laughed through their nose.

“You okay?”

They nodded.

“You sure?”

They shook their head no, then nodded again.

“If you say so.” she put her hand back on their back.

“I say so.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea. None of us wanna be here.” 

“S’okay.”

Ivy leaned her head on their shoulder. 2D leaned their head on her head. They both stayed there and swayed to the remnants of the bassline coming through the door. Ivy moved her hand across their back, closer to their hip. 2D turned their face inward towards Ivy’s forehead, almost nuzzling her.

“Okay, we ‘bout to take it back, y'all! Way back!” the DJ announced, sounding a little too proud of being a mood killer. Everyone could tell he didn't really talk like that. 2D sucked their teeth getting ready to hear the first notes of Poison. They were pleasantly surprised when Pull Up to the Bumper started instead.

"I love this song." they both said at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter
> 
> i heard a girl at work say "what in the 2005" the same day song machine dropped and mcr did whatever they did that day n knew i had to use it.
> 
> more of that jazz - queen


	11. tonite, ur gonna sing my song

Noodle scrolled through stories on her phone. She squinted when she came across @eyeveeeee_. 

_“PYT, lookin like you’re choosy, nice lil mini skirt ya shoe game foolish..”_

Oh come on.

 _“Tough exterior, can see right through it, I go by-”_ Replay. _“PYT, lookin like you’re choosy..”_

Son of a bitch.

There was 2D, some bizarro version of 2D, singing karaoke with Ivy Ingleberry. 2D singing karaoke (?) with Ivy Ingleberry and wearing strange makeup. 2D singing karaoke (??), no, in a club with Ivy Ingleberry, wearing strange makeup and dancing _very_ close to each other. The next story started.

_“Pull up to my bumper baby.. In your long black limousine.”_

Uncomfortably close. She heard a familiar voice yell enthusiastically from the filmer’s side. Ivy’s hand creeped onto 2D’s butt.

 _“Pull up to my bumper baby.. and drive it in between. Pull up t-”_ Replay. _“Pull up to my bumper b-”_ Replay. _“Pull up to my bumper baby..”_

She was making sure she saw what she saw.

 _“Pull up. To it. Don’t drive. Th-”_ The story ended. Next was a boomerang of Ivy trying to dip 2D’s tall ass. It looked ridiculous, they were cracking up. She hasn’t seen a smile like that on 2D for a long time, she hasn’t seen them move like that in forever. She had followed Ivy on and off for a couple of years. She told herself it was for representation or solidarity or something. Let’s be real, the woman is cool and hot. A milkshake on fire.

_“Recycle your thoughts. I’ll rewire your mind..”_

Damn, did this bitch record the entire night? What even is this song? Does 2D just know every song? They were grinding on each other at this point, no ambiguity.

_“I’ll punch in some new points of view.. to make sure you find.. you’ve got nothing to lose..”_

This was odd. There was something shiny on their cheek, that outfit wasn’t like them. Some weird stripey one piece (she guessed, it may have been a swimsuit), neck bandana, and jeans torn to shit. Matted, ‘azure-blue’, or whatever fucking color it was supposed to be now, hair gone. They were wearing their glasses, tacky nails, no shoes. Their everything was different, other than that trademark dazed look on their stupid face. She didn’t know this person. She knew she was losing them, but she didn’t think it would be all at once. Who even was this.. black haired, white eyed freak?

_“Lickin’ your greasy spoon, jukebox playin’ my tune..”_

The next story had a shot of everyone in the place grinding, dipping, swaying, twerking, rolling. It flipped back to Ivy and 2D from the front camera, mouthing. The caption said something like 'trip hop sluts', black lipstick marks were all over 2D’s face.

_“-in your room, blowing up your balloon, playin’ you like a bassoon..”_

Noodle guessed she was too young to know this one either. It sounded familiar and she knew it was going to bother her for the rest of the week.

_“Gimme all ya money, hand it over hunny-“_

She locked her phone and laid it on her stomach. “Act your age.” she said to no one, playing with the knockoff hello kitty pop socket that was falling apart. It’s been a week and a half, everyone’s acting as expected. It’s not a spectacle yet but it’s about to be. Murdoc added Runaway to his public playlist. Because he’s corny and senile, she didn’t look at the artist but it doesn’t matter. Every version she could think of has been playing in her head since she saw that. Russel sulks, what’s new, he does that on a normal day. She continues pretending to be unbothered.

She would pet Katsu but she hadn’t been able to find her for the past few days. Guess she fucked off, too. It was 2D’s turn to feed her before they disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pac man aka '2d cant do shit in this damn house'
> 
> freedun-m.i.a


	12. what can i really say to help

The trio left the function early. 2D started crying when Creep by TLC came on and wouldn’t say what was wrong. And it was okay, the DJ couldn’t mix and they felt too old for that shit anyway. They just went back to Ivy’s and crashed before they could decide on what movie to watch. 2D and Ivy almost naturally all over each other. 

* * *

Ivy had a different idea for today. It was Monday, the studio was closed anyway. No reason to be cooped up upstairs.

It was still warm enough to be out on the beach and that blew 2D’s mind.

“You don’t wanna come in the water?!” Ivy called to them, doing a 'come here' motion with her hands before Ace splashed her.

“No, I’m good!”

The water was freezing honestly, but was welcoming, too. She was a percolator. Ace and Ivy couldn’t go more than knee deep. 2D looked too scared to even put a toe in. They sat with Mochi instead, throwing debris for her to fetch. She didn’t seem to like the water much either. They watched the siblings goof off, and what looked like serpents breech in the distance. 

* * *

“Can you say ‘water bottle’ for me?”

2D rolled their eyes, fidgeting with the water bottle that gave Ivy the idea. “Wo’oh bo’oh.”

The three of them started laughing as Ivy pulled the rest of the food from her bag.

“Now say it like Ace.”

“Wahdah bahhdohl.”

“I’ll remember that.” Ace cut his eyes back and forth while he dug through the bag.

"Say 'youtube'."

"Yewtchube."

"Awh 'yoowe choobe'!" Ivy mocked. They both giggled like they were eight years old and had a secret.

“Aw Ivy, no popcorn?”

“I told you we didn’t have any you slut.”

“You did no such thing!”

“Fuck is you talking about? Yes I did?”

Now their accents were slipping out. They reminded 2D of how Noodle would just start shit with them. Then they wouldn't be able to tell if she was joking and retaliate either way. Then chairs started getting thrown. Only Ace and Ivy don’t seem as serious. No wonder 2D could talk with Ace any old way and the worst that would happen is that it would become a contest. The bickering still made them wring their hands, though. Their nerves started dancing around even if the fight wasn’t for real. They were trying to decide whether to fight them both or run away even though neither choices were necessary.

“Go get some then.”

“You do it, you want it.”

“Ivy.”

“Store’s that way.”

“I’ll go get it.” 2D interjected, getting them to shut up.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s that way right? I shouldn’t be staying in one spot, anyway.” they laughed as if anything they just said made sense. Ivy and Ace watched them start to walk away, stop, pick something up, and keep walking towards the corner store, if one could call it that.

"I was just playing.."

“Ace, they are so fucked up.”

“I know.”

“Is that why you whisked them away?”

“Don’t put it like that, he-“ he finally picked up Ivy’s cue. He put together a few things they talked about. “T-they asked to come along.”

“You know why, always the hero. I bet you snuck them out at like 3 in the morning, too. You heard those songs you helped play, you heard them first hand. That’s not even a hint anymore, that album was a call for help.”

Ace sighed because everything Ivy said was right.

“So what are they gonna do.” she pulled some hair from her face only for the wind to whip it back.

“I have no idea.”

Ivy put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t give me that.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re gonna give me that.. ‘you can’t sssssave everyone, you’ll make yourssssssself sssssssssssssssick’ speech. I can’t help that okay? I never would’ve met you if I wasn’t like that.”

“I don’t sound like that.” Ivy narrowed her eyes.

“Hm? You don’t sssssssound like what?”

“Fuck you.” she laughed and gave him a playful push. “Well, _I_ hate it when you give me that ‘I neva woulda meht ya..’ speech. You’re so good at learning lines, try something else next time.”

They leaned their heads on each other.

“Everyone who listens to them knows what’s up. I guess you were just the first one to do something about it.”

Ace sighed.

“And live.”

Then Ace laughed, even though Ivy was correct once again.

Then came 2D, hauling ass towards them with a variety of goods.

“Damn, they’re fast.” Ivy was amused.

“Run!”

“Why?” Ace barely got to yell back.

“GO!”

The few other people there jumped at the exclamation, then dismissed it. Groups yell stupid shit on the beach all the time. Something in the water. Ace and Ivy however, heeded the warning.

“Oh my god she robbed that store.” Ivy said as all one word while she gathered their things as quickly as she could. She whistled for Mochi and almost tripped over herself.

They didn’t see anything else coming their way. But 2D’s sense of urgency was enough for them to start sprinting.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beach episode  
> beach rats - the growlers


	13. i do the creepy crawl, crazy legs like daddy long

**_[2-D Spotted with Strange New Look]_ ** **_  
_**

_NOODLE: He looks strange, doesn’t he? I suppose he went goth on us. I am joking, of course. At first, I didn’t think it was him. Too much color in the face._ **_  
_**

**_[2–D was spotted near Rodeo Beach leaving a convenience store after vanishing from Gorillaz a week or so ago. The ex-frontman was holding a carton of cigarettes, a popsicle in his mouth, and wearing multiple earrings peeking out from unrecognizable jet black hair. Looking just as irritated from his last appearance in September.]_ **

_RUSSEL: He looks tired._

**_[He_ ** **_does_ ** **_look busted.]_ **

_RUSSEL: No, like just tired. Not exhausted, just tired._

_NOODLE: He looks like a witch._

**_[Indeed. Unfortunately, no other information was able to be gathered as our source came into some difficulties.]_ **

_RUSSEL: If this is what he needs to do.. [he hesitates, rolling something unseen around in his hand] it works. I like it. Don’t have much to say, what else is new._

**_[2-D reportedly “has a mean drop kick”]_ **

_[Russel laughed upon hearing that, says something unintelligible, may have been “crazy bitch”]_

_NOODLE: He has cracked._

_RUSSEL: Noodle.._

_NOODLE: I would track him down if I didn’t have better things to do. [she looks at her phone and nothing else]_

_RUSSEL: We’re talking about him as if this is an amber alert. He’s not missing. He wasn’t taken, for once. He_ _left_ _. And it’s strange that we’re concerned all of a sudden when he acts on his own. You know what, I already said I’m done talking. But, now you want me to talk?_

**_[MURDOC refused to comment]_ **

* * *

“Twoey, you just kicked the paparazzi?”

“What did you want me to do?”

“Is that why you were telling us to run?”

2D blew a raspberry instead of responding.

“Heh. Ivy thought you held up the store.”

2D sucked their teeth. 

Ace plucked a leaf from the branch he was perched on and started folding along it’s veins. There was nothing else to do but read gossip and pick at leaves, Ivy was working. They didn’t want to bug her with any more piano covers.

“Didn’t know you had hands like that.” Ace sprinkled the leaf confetti he had made over 2D. “I mean, I had a feeling you had feet but jeez.”

“They’re bold in this day and age. You can’t just flip them off anymore, they think that’s a.. ‘mood’ or something.” 2D didn’t mention how he spit on the photographer. “We’re **not** that popular, I don’t get it.. they were trying to grab me and everything.."

"You said 'Hiiii-YAH'!"

"I dunno, it came out more like 'eaaUGEHH'!" 

“Did you see what the squidget said?” Ace asked, looking down to 2D.

He’s been starting to pick up their words for things, and people. He had never heard of the word “squidget” until he heard them call Noodle that.

…

_“I will knock your eyes out, AGAIN!”_

_“You gotta_ **_reach_ ** _them to try that, you squidget!”_

_…_

It was a great word, even if he did learn it from an incredibly stressful situation.

“Eh, do I want to?” 2D asked back. They tried to spot Ace while spinning on the tire swing below. “I’m trying to keep my crying down to once a day, remember that.” they almost laughed as they bent back and the tire picked up momentum.

“She said she’d ‘track you down if she cared enough’ or something.”

“UUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!”

“I know!”

“GOOOOOOOOOOOHD!!!”

“I know!!”

“Sure! Yeah yeah..”

“She’s just lonely, that’s it.” Ace laughed.

“I guess. She’s got her squad or whatever, though. Right?”

“I wouldn’t know.” 

“Yeah, I guess not. Sorry. A witch.. She’s acting like I was crawling backwards down the stairs or something. It was **one** time!”

Ace was there for that, he convinced himself that he made it up. He wasn’t sure how to react now knowing that shit really happened.

“Russel sounds like he misses you, too.”

“Hm.. he misses this ass.”

Ace snickered before registering what 2D said. He felt them stop swinging.

He wasn’t sure what their next step was. He knew Ivy didn't mind them being there. Especially having 2D on her arm. But, they were both scared of overstaying their welcome. His place wasn’t that far away, but didn’t want them to stay cooped there either.

“What else did Murdoc Jr. say?”

“You sure?” Ace looked back down, 2D was spinning slowly in place.

“I guess not. Oh my god, we’ve only been gone a week. She called me a witch. And I know she doesn’t mean the girl power kind.. or whatever. I can’t even fly.”

“It sure looks like you can here. The picture they got of you is too good.”

“I’m sure.”

It was a perfect shot of 2D’s feet meeting the pap’s shoulders. Their teeth were bared like a rightfully pissed forest creature. Sea-aired out hair forming a small, black halo. The popsicle was bit in half and shooting out of their syrup stained mouth. It was a ballet, it was a renaissance painting. They were flying.

“So.. what do we do now?”

2D shrugged. “Flip a coin..”

“I don’t have a coin.”

 _‘Of course you don’t have a coin.’_ They thought to themself. They kept spinning in the tire, scanning the ground until they came across a flip-able object. They balanced the bottlecap that would have to do on their thumbnail (hooker red today).

“Heads we stay, tails we go?”

“Yeah.”

The cap made a dull pinging noise as they flipped it. The both of them lifted their heads and watched it go. Brows furrowed as they lost sight of it.

“What..?” asked Ace to no one.

“Okay..” 2D accepted, figuring something like that would happen.

* * *

_NOODLE: It wasn’t some kind of fiasco. For once. I don’t remember an argument, nothing out of the ordinary for him, that is. He was just gone. I suppose he wasn’t ready for things to go back to normal. After Ace left, so did- [she looks back up from her phone and smacks herself in the forehead] oh my god._

_RUSSEL: Wooooooooooow.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep on movin - king tuff
> 
> robert smith x gorillaz is all ive ever wanted, im p sure "squidget" if from fresh prince


	14. everybody wanna act like they know me, they say they want the old me

_NOODLE: “Like I said. He has cracked.”_

* * *

2D was standing in front of the mirror washing their hands. They looked around at Ivy’s stuff around the sink, trying to figure out which was for what was for why. Distracting themselves from looking up, they learned to blur themself out years ago. 

Something made them catch themself out of the corner of their eye. They jumped and whipped around to face whatever it was in the mirror. When they finally saw themself, they didn’t want to spit or punch at it. They liked it.. liked them. Whoever was looking back at them, they looked like someone who had a say in what goes on with themself. Skin finally had some sunlight baked inside, freckles all over. Eyes already clearer, hair already thicker. They turned to the side for a better look, exhaled, their hands smoothed down their waist and onto their hips. They’ve seen this person before. The face was familiar, they’d see them during their “breaks” from the band. But, it was starting to come around more often. 

* * *

_NOODLE: “It has been like.. he is a different person. He was already starting to become unrecognizable. I suppose he wanted to complete the metamorphosis."_

* * *

Russel dreamt about a bluebird. Big, tarry paintballs came out of nowhere, making direct hits, suffocating it. It looked like it was fighting with itself instead of trying to dodge the bullets. It looked gross, it looked like it hurt, it looked like the bird had no other way of living. It grew larger, sopping them up until it shot itself off the ground as a raven. It rocketed for what seemed like years until it could reach the moon and envelope it in a hug. He's had this dream before, and was irritated with how obvious that whole ordeal was each time.

* * *

_RUSSEL: “I don’t even know. I don’t see the use in speculation.”_

* * *

He clearly doesn’t want to think about it, since he was sure he threw some of those bullets himself. Even if he didn’t, he didn’t stop anyone else. And he didn't want to think about that, either.

* * *

_RUSSEL: “We probably need a break from each other.. again.. anyway. Need to clear the air. He just took the initiative first this time. He’s not stupid.”_

_NOODLE: “If you say so..”_

_MURDOC: “The lad can barely dress himself, he’ll come crawling back sooner or later!”_

Murdoc had already considered (very loudly) just getting 2D’s “identical” cousin (not a thing) in for some ads they were obligated to do. 

_RUSSEL: [turns his gaze towards Murdoc yelling from outside of the room] It’s only been what a week? A week and a half._

He’d also thrown out the idea of a lobotomy once they “got him back”. No one was amused.

* * *

Ace decided that saying 2D was dressing “bold” was an understatement. Again, bold for how he was used to seeing them. It's already weird to see them without their glasses anymore, and their ears looked heavy from all the earrings. He didn't even know their ears were pierced in the first place. They blend in with a crowd here, for sure. Ivy gave 2D some of her old tops, her pre-augmentation tops. She forgot they might as well have been a giant until she saw that most of the shirts stopped short on them. Ivy thought it looked fine, she already liked that the exposed belly look was back. They’ve been wearing beads around their middle, they made it work.

* * *

_MURDOC: “He jumps at his own shadow. He needs us, honestly!”_

_NOODLE: [nods]_

* * *

2D took a breath, and put a toe into the water. Nothing was wrong, which was scary in itself. Ace and Ivy stood farther out on standby, mostly watching for what would happen. They took slower steps deeper into the ocean, gripping their arm as if that was the one thing keeping them from going under and disappearing. Their hair wasn’t long enough to pull on anymore when their nerves were buzzing around.

“How you feeling, Twoey?”

“...”

Ace and Ivy tensed up a bit.

“YAH!”

Ace tried to duck the incoming water 2D threw towards him.

“Oop!” Ivy exclaimed.

“Wha- Oh it’s like that?!” Ace joked, he tried to splash 2D back. Ivy dragged her arm through a wave to get them both. They all kept punching water at each other like 10 year olds, faces burning from the salt and oil spill remnants.

Nothing was wrong.

* * *

_NOODLE: “He can not possibly be doing much.”_

_RUSSEL: [squinting at Noodle’s tone] “Honestly, he probably snuck off somewhere just to fucking.. [looking for the word] rest. He hides when he’s overwhelmed. I still don’t know why this is such a big surprise._

* * *

“YE-LELELELELELELELELE-LEEE-LEEE-LEEE-LEEEEEEEAAAAIIIIIiiiii-!” 2D ululated into the canyon.

“Twoey, how’d you do that?” Ace almost yelled, trying to tie his hair back for the tenth time since they set out. 

_“LAI LAI LAIIII- LAI LAI LAIIII… lai lai laiii…”_ the canyon sang back.

Ivy swore there were still dinosaurs living where they were. 2D kept a lookout, but mostly looked for frogs. They'd been trying to subtly beg to see a canyon for a few days, they've always wanted to see one just to say they did. They always pictured the Grand one when picturing canyons. This place was _lush._ Lush and cool. There was water creeping into their socks and made their feet squeak. Making the three of them sound like a bird choir. The ferns sprawled their way up the walls like they owned the place. They wouldn’t mind living here. Just existing in the center of the earth, gossiping with the moss where nobody could find them.

* * *

_We hope you find him._

_RUSSEL: [rolls eyes.. we’re guessing] Yeah._

_NOODLE: [mumbles something, sounds like: 'I will."]_

_RUSSEL: He’s not a dog._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year stay strapped
> 
> life back - rico nasty

**Author's Note:**

> working title, the other title was "Thelma and Louise but Tootie is Thelma and Ace is Louise". started this idea w/ a friend back when phase 5 was still active and we all thought there was gonna be a big story. thought it would be worth a shot to pick it back up while things are still dormant.
> 
> chapter title : leave the house - porches


End file.
